Friends with benefits? How does it benefit a single wife to be a man’s friend while he has the benefit of coming and going to me and other women as he pleases; using me for my body and all my other assets while I fall deeply in love pretending to benefit from his friendship; giving me the benefit of 6 minutes of painful pleasure which leaves me empty on the inside; giving me the benefit of infections, smells, and diseases; and him getting the upgrade that comes with linking up with a suitable helper while I’m still not getting washed in the water of the Word. What is the benefit of mind games? What benefits are included with late night visits and no public confessions of his feelings for me? What does it benefit a woman to gain a man and lose her soul? And don’t be deceived single wives. It’s only fun or cute for a minute because if we’re believers, we aren’t wired to take this position forever. He created us to be wives.
Friends with benefits? No thank you. I will wait for the benefits of becoming a wife. Jené Walker
For the audio message, click here: Friends With Benefits? No Thank You.
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Do you know who you are? Do you know whose you are? Do you know how valuable you are? Do you know how strong you are? Do you know how influential you are? Do you know the power on the inside of you? Do you know what you bring to the table? You are worth far more than rubies.
I researched the value of rubies using the International Gem Society (IGS) to get an idea of the value of rubies today. Rubies are some of the most popular gems for good reasons. “As gem-quality examples of the mineral corundum, [rubies] are exceptionally durable and one of the few gem species whose color reaches vivid saturation levels. Fine quality rubies are some of the most expensive gems, with record prices over $100,000 per carat…As of May 2015, the record price for a ruby is approximately 2 million per carat,” according to IGS. A ruby is a valuable gem!
The revelation I got about the scripture, Proverbs 31:10 is that the queen, King Lemuel’s mother, from whose perspective this scripture was written understood the value of rubies. More importantly, the queen understood the value of a virtuous and noble woman for her son the king (prince). The queen asks who can find a virtuous woman for she is worth far more than rubies. There is no question about whether or not a woman worth far more than rubies can be found. You, virtuous woman, are worth far more than rubies waiting to be seen for who you are and to be found, valued, cherished, and appreciated. Do you know your own worth?
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Proverbs 31:28-31 NIV “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
Everyone that is sent to you isn’t sent for you. The enemy “hires” people to intimidate, entice, and lure you into sin. The enemy has people set up to come against you to block you from getting where God is taking you. He uses people to give you a bad name.
Has someone ever mysteriously appeared in your life? You have an uneasy spirit about them. Something just doesn’t feel right. Pay attention to your spirit. God doesn’t want us to be paranoid; however, God does want us to be alert and discerning.
The enemy is cunning and deceitful. He will send someone who may even seem prophetic but all along, they have been prophesying against you. God will give you signs. Your spirit will alert you that the person was not sent by God but was indeed sent by Satan.
Now, please understand this – they may inconvenience you, but no weapon they form against you shall prosper in Jesus’s name. Your destiny is yours. Stay covered. Stay prayed up. Stay in the Spirit. Stay alert and pray for discernment. Dr.J.
Nehemiah 6:12-13 NIV “I realized that God had not sent him, but that he had prophesied against me because Tobiah and Sanballat had hired him. He had been hired to intimidate me so that I would commit a sin by doing this, and then they would give me a bad name to discredit me.”
Proverbs 18:22 NIV “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
Reflection Question: Are you already a wife in your spirit now?
What are the wifely qualities and characteristics we currently possess? Are we saved women of God? Do we have a quiet spirit (1 Peter 3)? Are we modest in our dress and hairstyles (1 Peter 3)? Do we know how to be “subject” to God because if we don’t how can we be subject to your own husband (1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5)? Is God the head of our lives (Ephesians 5)? Are we respectful toward others, especially men (Ephesians 5)? Do we now delight ourselves in the Lord (Psalm 37:4) because when we’re married we are supposed to delight ourselves in our husbands, “notices him and prefer him and treat him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear” (Ephesians 5 AMP)?
According to King Lemuel’s mother and modern day mothers too, an excellent wife is hard to find. It is difficult to find a wife in whom a husband’s heart can trust. Are we trustworthy, giving, kind, industrious, strong, a good steward of our money, wise, faithful, a good steward of our time (or idle), noble, and honorable (Proverbs 31)?
Some of us think that God needs help in our man’s search for us (I’ve been guilty before), but God doesn’t. God will equip man with all He needs to find us. God will give man a glimpse, through supernatural binoculars, of the favor man can have when he discovers us. God will show man how good it will be when he finds us. God will even set up and supernaturally arrange the discovery place. We don’t have to try to be in a certain location so our husbands can find us. We don’t have to speed up God’s discovery process. All we have to do is be in a wifely state of being when God allows him to find us. All we have to do is be married to God until our husbands come.
Are you already a wife in your spirit? Are you ready to be found by the one who will seek? God has allowed me to see first hand and, even more so lately, second hand that marriage is not a joke. The enemy forges more attacks against the entity of marriage and the family that singles can’t even begin to fathom. If you’re not ready for war, stay single. If you’re not equally yoked with that man with THE MAN as the one who can wash you in the word (that means he is in just as deep with God or more than you), he isn’t the one. If you are vindictive and go “tic for tac,” stay single. If you know that God called you to the ministry of marriage, let God work on you now. Be faithful to God. If this is a difficult task, imagine how difficult it will be to be faithful in allowing the Holy Spirit to help you possess these wifely qualities. Jené Elaine Walker