|We were created to be suitable help mates, which may require us to operate behind the scenes at times or to operate in a season of hiddenness. Do you just have to be seen? Do you have to have your name in neon lights? Do you have to get the credit or the glory? We were created because Jehovah said that it wasn’t good for men to be alone.
Genesis 2:18-22 (NIV) “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”
A help meet or helper in the Hebrew is `ezer or one who helps or aids. We are helpers, women of Jehovah! In some situations in marriage, men of Jehovah have another dimension that will attain when they find you. In those same situations, Jehovah may give you all the logistics and details needed to help your husband accomplish the vision Jehovah has given him. Are you humble enough to privately write out the plan, work out all the details Holy Spirit gives you, and develop the script that your husband executes in public? There will be times that we must be the mind that the Master uses behind the scenes that allows him to shine and Him to shine. But we won’t be able to do this is we’re the type right now who has to have accolades. If we’re the ones who have to have our names on the program, this will be challenging for us. If we’re the ones who “feel some kinda way” when our names aren’t called after we did all the work. It’s human (I hear you lol) but it’s flesh. Yeshua told us to die to our flesh. So if pride is an issue now, we have to be transparent, lay it on the altar and let Holy Spirit get that spirit out of us now.
It takes humility and love to allow someone to have the spotlight and shine. Holy Spirit has done a work in me in this area but if my flesh rears its ugly head, I start casting, rebuking, and renouncing the spirit of pride. To Jehovah be the glory in all things, not to Jené be the glory. And when we allow our husbands to shine, Jehovah still gets the glory. Someone will see His Spirit in us and say, “She is truly a virtuous wife touched by God Himself.” Humble yourselves in the presence of Jehovah and in due season, He will elevate you.
Excerpt From: Dr. Jené “Dr. J.” Elaine Walker. “Meditations for a Surrendered Life.” Go to www.meditationsforasurrenderedlife.com/buy!
Psalm 37:4 (ESV) “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
“Love Lessons: Stop Settling”
We believe God for certain areas of our lives but for most of us, finances, healing, and love are difficult areas to completely trust God. Unfortunately, we tend to take these matters into our own hands. Holy Spirit began speaking to me about the area of love to encourage me to hold on and wait for Him. He will give us the desires of our hearts when we delight ourselves in Him first. To delight ourselves in Him means to be happy in Him. Delight (“anag” in Hebrew) means to be glad in anything. See, we want the desires, but we have to be glad in the state we’re currently in. So, when Jehovah connects us with our mates, our happiness isn’t contingent on them and their actions but on our ability to delight ourselves in Jehovah. When we get to the point that we delight ourselves in Jehovah, then we begin to trust Jehovah to give us our hearts’ desires. The closer our relationship with Jehovah, the closer our desires begin to align with His desires for our love lives. When it comes to love, if we don’t get aligned with kingdom marriage principles now, we will continue to connect with people that God didn’t ordain for us. We will continue to experience failed relationships. We will continue to look for love in the wrong places. We will continue to “settle” for ungodly mates.
Holy Spirit gave me a few quotes about relationships dealing with how we’ve been settling in this season.
You are a king, a queen. If they can’t see the royal & godly value in you, then they can’t share the throne with you. Their loss. One of the most important things we must perceive in this season is that we are special to God. He loves us so deeply. If we could only see our worth through the eyes of Yeshua, we would stop settling for people who can’t see our worth. Often times, their perception of us is distorted because of their skewed perception of God and themselves. They can’t see us clearly if they can’t see God clearly. We can’t be so desperate for love that we ignore the signs of their inability to see us through godly lenses. If we can’t commit to, honor, and revere God, where is the power to commit to and honor a “person?” Subject yourself to God first. In James chapter 4, verse 7, the Word says that if we are subject to God, we can resist the devil and he will flee. When we are subject to God, we are in total submission to His will and His Spirit. When our flesh begins to surface, we can clearly hear Holy Spirit speaking to us and guiding us in the way of the Spirit. When we are submitted to God, we are obedient to His Word. When we are subject to God, we honor authority and each other. If I didn’t have Holy Spirit compelling me strongly on the inside, I would have lost it on some people already. It is the power of Holy Spirit on the inside of us that helps us to honor another human being, especially when they aren’t doing right. It is difficult to submit to a person who is operating in their flesh, when we aren’t even submitted to God. That is the true test. Can we submit and honor a person when they are at their worst? Submission is one of the aspects that relationship sustainability requires. Are you totally submitted to God first?
He has been dangling carrots, but no karats – paying a bill, buying groceries, even paying rent but still no ring of commitment. We have stay in dead relationships with no future, no life, no real love, and no commitment for long enough. We are wasting time and delaying our true happiness. Do we trust God for true love? Can we be content in our single state? Women, we will stay in a relationship until the wheels fall off in hopes that mileage will get us the commitment and love we desire. It won’t. The spirits we’re dealing with in a man who won’t commit may vary from person to person such as brokenness, sexual immorality, and narcissism. But if we’re honest, for us to stay in a dead-end relationship indefinitely, we too are dealing with some spirits such as insecurity and dependency. A man who truly loves us and is willing to commit doesn’t dangle carrots – give us things or say things to make us believe he is going to commit. He commits. Get healed. Stop settling.
He has been putting a “wing & thing” on it but has yet to put a ring on it. God created you for more. Don’t settle. Some of us mistake love for a man buying us things or feeding us or sex. The meaning of true love is not based on the world’s standards but in the Word of God. A man finds a wife, not a woman to buy chicken and have sex with. A man finds a wife who is a “good thing.” And then that man finds favor with Jehovah. You’ve been hanging out with a man who is missing his favor because he hasn’t done right by you. You are a good thing, a suitable help make, and an agent for his upgrade.
Stop settling. How long will he halt & limp between two opinions? Either he wants you God’s way or not at all. Don’t settle. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Some men say they love you and want to marry you but their actions are noncommittal. Some will even tell us that they are noncommittal and we continue to settle for that ungodly stand he has taken. When they enemy whispers that maybe you’re asking for too much, that is a lie. You are not the one. You’re not asking for much. You’re not asking for anything that God didn’t promise you can have. Let’s put that lie to rest right now. Yes, you a submissive. Yes, you have a quiet spirit. Yes, you will honor your husband. But no, you are not the one who will stay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t know what he wants. You can make excuses and prolong the inevitable by saying you’re a good friend who wants to help him go to the next level… In the end, the answer is still the same. He doesn’t know if you’re the one. He doesn’t know if you’re worthy of being his wife. He doesn’t know if he will marry you. God has someone whose mind is made up about finding you.
Your body is a temple. If he doesn’t take you to the temple, he can’t tamper with your temple. We continue to put ourselves at physical and emotional and spiritual risk by sleeping with men or women who are not our spouses. Jehovah says in Romans 12 for us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God which is our reasonable service. Only then will we even know His perfect will for our lives. Sex was designed for marriage. And because of our sexual immorality, diseases of all types are continuing to spread. Marriages are continuing to end. We see sex as moments of pleasure but it can cause a lifetime of hurt and consequences when we defile the temple. If you’re not worthy of being his wife, he’s not worthy of defiling your temple, which is the temple of God. Don’t settle. Don’t sin.
If she wants you to compromise your standards now, she will want you to do it again. Take a stand. Don’t settle. Men, the Word of God says in Proverbs 18, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Be led by Holy Spirit about the woman you “find.” What are the characteristics of a “wife” according to the Word of God. Is she subject to God? Is her life aligned with the principles of the Word of God? Are you equally yoked? As the head of the household and the head of your wife, you need someone who will complement you and be an asset for you. She needs to be one who will promote your vision. She has to have an uncompromising spirit, unwilling to go against the Spirit of God. Your wife won’t ask you to compromise. Don’t settle.
Number one is not sufficient. God created you to be the only one. You know if you’re just one in the number. Stop settling. When God created Adam, he said it isn’t good for man to be alone. Then, he created Eve, a suitable helpmate. God’s intentions form the beginning were for a man to be with one woman. As I reflect on my studies, I think the first mention of a man with more than one wife was Lamech, after the fall of man. In the world in which we live, it has become the “norm” for us to operate out of order, misaligned with the Word of God. We have become accepting of being someone’s number or three or four person. The devil is a liar. That is not how God intended for relationships to be and we shouldn’t settle for that.
“Being a man’s second, third, or even fourth option is only cute for as long as we can pretend we are okay with it. Ladies, God didn’t create us to be okay with that. Feelings are deceptive. So that empowerment we think we feel as a result of being involved with someone who belongs to someone else is really pride and selfishness. That statement we make—I can’t help if she doesn’t satisfy him and he has to come to me”—is only cute in the flesh and for a moment. After a few months of being number two, three, or four, it isn’t cute any more. It really hurts when we’re all alone and our bodies aren’t enough to keep those men with us. It isn’t cute when we’re reaping all the pain we’ve sown. God has a number-one position reserved just for me and you. He wants us to start bearing the fruit of the Spirit (such as self-control) and stop producing fruits of discord, dissension, and sexual immorality. Let’s stop pretending we’re cool with being less than a man’s only one. If we would only trust God, each of us could have a spot of our own.”
Excerpt From: Dr. Jené “Dr. J.” Elaine Walker. “Meditations for a Surrendered Life.”
You are worthy of real (which shouldn’t be relative) love. Don’t settle. God says there’s more for you than that. It doesn’t matter if you have a disease, been molested, raped, or a victim of incest, you are worthy of love. Yeshua loves us in spite of everything we’ve done and anything that has happened to us. He wants us to experience unconditional 1 Corinthians 13 love from our mates too. When you begin to realize your worth in Yeshua, you will wait on someone who sees your worth and who is willing to give you real love. Don’t settle.
Stay away from married men and women! Protect the sanctity of God’s sacred covenant. Trust God for your own spouse. Trust Him to fill the void and give you contentment and peace with Him alone. God will bring you out of that situation and sustain you. Don’t be deceived by the tricks and schemes of the enemy that you can be “just friends” with someone’s spouse. No! Texts, phone calls and friendly flirting is not acceptable. The devil is slick, slithering, and subtle. Stay far away. Because reaping the hell you caused in a marriage does not feel good. If the spouse is trying to convince you to stay and play, understand that he is under the spell of Satan. God didn’t create you to be anyone’s side thing or play toy. Flee in the name of Yeshua. Please before judgments start flowing (And you may have already seen the hand of God telling you to stop.).
There are only a FEW spiritual initiatives that I really push. This one is one of them. I need for you to share this (even privately via inbox) with everyone you know. You can even “tag” every married person you know. Holy Spirit put this on my heart and there is a SEVERE spiritual need for it. Go in your phone’s calendar and set a reminder now entitled “World-Wide Prayer for Marriage” for tomorrow, January 1, 2017 at 6:00 EST (please align your time with EST so we can all pray at the same time!). This “World-Wide Prayer for Marriage” initiative will be launched as led by Holy Spirit. My biggest area of ministry has been for “marriages” (how ironic) more than any other area because of the unprecedented attacks in this area. The prayers of the righteous availeth much. I believe it with everything in me that if everyone of you prays with me about these things concerning marriage, there will be a world-wide breakthrough in God’s marriages.
I’m compelling you to intercede with me. Make THIS go viral. Reblog this post and share it please. Dr.J.
God is making a mighty move in the entity of marriage! Open your spiritual eyes! The enemy doesn’t want us to “see” the fifty percent who are making it but focuses our attention to the marriage glass that’s half empty. The percentage can increase to our advantage if we would only make God the center of our individual and married lives and learn how to fight the real enemy- the devil.
Real-life married couples are defeating the enemy at his own game of infiltrating and breaking up marriages by “breaking through” his attacks. These couples aren’t perfect but because of their perfect love for Christ, they are winning battles against the devil. The enemy has forged every type of attack you can imagine against these couples but this proves that with God in your marriage, no man and no demon can put your marriage asunder.
It is crucial that God is the center of your marriage. When God is in marriage, God is in family. When God is in families, God is in the church. When God is in the church, God is in our communities! We need marriages to work for communities at large to work. The kingdom needs marriages to work so that more souls are saved through your union.
These couples are blessed and ordained by God-powerful, anointed, beautiful, blessed couples! Be encouraged! God can and will save your God ordained covenant marriage too. Jené Elaine Walker