The details aren’t our problem. Our sovereign, almighty, all powerful Jehovah will work out all the details. We don’t have time for that. We are supposed to be seeking Jehovah for our kingdom dominion and assignment. Jehovah will orchestrate the meeting with our husbands, the revelation to our husbands that we’re the ones, his preparation, and the geographical location. Don’t worry your pretty little heads about that. Seek Him first and His righteousness. While you wait on Jehovah, let Him prepare your heart and mind for ministry and marriage. Let Him get all the bitterness OUT because it kills marriages. Let Him get all the hurt OUT that destroys trust. Let Him get all the compromise OUT because that shakes fidelity at the core. Let Him get all the deception OUT that causes you to think the counterfeit is real which causes the heart to stray. Let Him get all the disobedience OUT that causes us not to submit to our own husbands in everything. We have work to do while we WAIT. Nonetheless, WAIT. Jené Walker
There have been times when that “smile” was really a “smirk” because I knew I was right about something and he was wrong. I thank Jehovah for daily sanctification. I thank Jehovah for daily, moment-by-moment transformation. I thank Jehovah for His grace. This isn’t an “us against him” kind of thing. This is a “you and me against the world’s system” kind of thing. PRIDE is what has to be demolished in order for us to be ok with being right – privately. It doesn’t even matter to us if our husband ever knows he was wrong in the situation. Jehovah will complete the work He starts in our husbands just like He will in us. We have to really allow Holy Spirit to humble us and help us not to take offense in situations like this. Our flesh will fight against this every step of the way. “I know I’m right. I’m smart. I run my own company. I make decisions at work. I’m smarter than he is. I make more money than he does.” Pride, pride, pride flee in the name of Yeshua. “Ok honey. I’m in agreement with you because where two or more are unified in His name, Jehovah is in the midst.” Can we humble ourselves to that extent? Of course we can; we have the power of Holy Spirit indwelling us. Are you ready to be a wife? Jené Elaine Walker
Psalm 37:4 (ESV) “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
“Love Lessons: Stop Settling”
We believe God for certain areas of our lives but for most of us, finances, healing, and love are difficult areas to completely trust God. Unfortunately, we tend to take these matters into our own hands. Holy Spirit began speaking to me about the area of love to encourage me to hold on and wait for Him. He will give us the desires of our hearts when we delight ourselves in Him first. To delight ourselves in Him means to be happy in Him. Delight (“anag” in Hebrew) means to be glad in anything. See, we want the desires, but we have to be glad in the state we’re currently in. So, when Jehovah connects us with our mates, our happiness isn’t contingent on them and their actions but on our ability to delight ourselves in Jehovah. When we get to the point that we delight ourselves in Jehovah, then we begin to trust Jehovah to give us our hearts’ desires. The closer our relationship with Jehovah, the closer our desires begin to align with His desires for our love lives. When it comes to love, if we don’t get aligned with kingdom marriage principles now, we will continue to connect with people that God didn’t ordain for us. We will continue to experience failed relationships. We will continue to look for love in the wrong places. We will continue to “settle” for ungodly mates.
Holy Spirit gave me a few quotes about relationships dealing with how we’ve been settling in this season.
You are a king, a queen. If they can’t see the royal & godly value in you, then they can’t share the throne with you. Their loss. One of the most important things we must perceive in this season is that we are special to God. He loves us so deeply. If we could only see our worth through the eyes of Yeshua, we would stop settling for people who can’t see our worth. Often times, their perception of us is distorted because of their skewed perception of God and themselves. They can’t see us clearly if they can’t see God clearly. We can’t be so desperate for love that we ignore the signs of their inability to see us through godly lenses. If we can’t commit to, honor, and revere God, where is the power to commit to and honor a “person?” Subject yourself to God first. In James chapter 4, verse 7, the Word says that if we are subject to God, we can resist the devil and he will flee. When we are subject to God, we are in total submission to His will and His Spirit. When our flesh begins to surface, we can clearly hear Holy Spirit speaking to us and guiding us in the way of the Spirit. When we are submitted to God, we are obedient to His Word. When we are subject to God, we honor authority and each other. If I didn’t have Holy Spirit compelling me strongly on the inside, I would have lost it on some people already. It is the power of Holy Spirit on the inside of us that helps us to honor another human being, especially when they aren’t doing right. It is difficult to submit to a person who is operating in their flesh, when we aren’t even submitted to God. That is the true test. Can we submit and honor a person when they are at their worst? Submission is one of the aspects that relationship sustainability requires. Are you totally submitted to God first?
He has been dangling carrots, but no karats – paying a bill, buying groceries, even paying rent but still no ring of commitment. We have stay in dead relationships with no future, no life, no real love, and no commitment for long enough. We are wasting time and delaying our true happiness. Do we trust God for true love? Can we be content in our single state? Women, we will stay in a relationship until the wheels fall off in hopes that mileage will get us the commitment and love we desire. It won’t. The spirits we’re dealing with in a man who won’t commit may vary from person to person such as brokenness, sexual immorality, and narcissism. But if we’re honest, for us to stay in a dead-end relationship indefinitely, we too are dealing with some spirits such as insecurity and dependency. A man who truly loves us and is willing to commit doesn’t dangle carrots – give us things or say things to make us believe he is going to commit. He commits. Get healed. Stop settling.
He has been putting a “wing & thing” on it but has yet to put a ring on it. God created you for more. Don’t settle. Some of us mistake love for a man buying us things or feeding us or sex. The meaning of true love is not based on the world’s standards but in the Word of God. A man finds a wife, not a woman to buy chicken and have sex with. A man finds a wife who is a “good thing.” And then that man finds favor with Jehovah. You’ve been hanging out with a man who is missing his favor because he hasn’t done right by you. You are a good thing, a suitable help make, and an agent for his upgrade.
Stop settling. How long will he halt & limp between two opinions? Either he wants you God’s way or not at all. Don’t settle. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Some men say they love you and want to marry you but their actions are noncommittal. Some will even tell us that they are noncommittal and we continue to settle for that ungodly stand he has taken. When they enemy whispers that maybe you’re asking for too much, that is a lie. You are not the one. You’re not asking for much. You’re not asking for anything that God didn’t promise you can have. Let’s put that lie to rest right now. Yes, you a submissive. Yes, you have a quiet spirit. Yes, you will honor your husband. But no, you are not the one who will stay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t know what he wants. You can make excuses and prolong the inevitable by saying you’re a good friend who wants to help him go to the next level… In the end, the answer is still the same. He doesn’t know if you’re the one. He doesn’t know if you’re worthy of being his wife. He doesn’t know if he will marry you. God has someone whose mind is made up about finding you.
Your body is a temple. If he doesn’t take you to the temple, he can’t tamper with your temple. We continue to put ourselves at physical and emotional and spiritual risk by sleeping with men or women who are not our spouses. Jehovah says in Romans 12 for us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God which is our reasonable service. Only then will we even know His perfect will for our lives. Sex was designed for marriage. And because of our sexual immorality, diseases of all types are continuing to spread. Marriages are continuing to end. We see sex as moments of pleasure but it can cause a lifetime of hurt and consequences when we defile the temple. If you’re not worthy of being his wife, he’s not worthy of defiling your temple, which is the temple of God. Don’t settle. Don’t sin.
If she wants you to compromise your standards now, she will want you to do it again. Take a stand. Don’t settle. Men, the Word of God says in Proverbs 18, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Be led by Holy Spirit about the woman you “find.” What are the characteristics of a “wife” according to the Word of God. Is she subject to God? Is her life aligned with the principles of the Word of God? Are you equally yoked? As the head of the household and the head of your wife, you need someone who will complement you and be an asset for you. She needs to be one who will promote your vision. She has to have an uncompromising spirit, unwilling to go against the Spirit of God. Your wife won’t ask you to compromise. Don’t settle.
Number one is not sufficient. God created you to be the only one. You know if you’re just one in the number. Stop settling. When God created Adam, he said it isn’t good for man to be alone. Then, he created Eve, a suitable helpmate. God’s intentions form the beginning were for a man to be with one woman. As I reflect on my studies, I think the first mention of a man with more than one wife was Lamech, after the fall of man. In the world in which we live, it has become the “norm” for us to operate out of order, misaligned with the Word of God. We have become accepting of being someone’s number or three or four person. The devil is a liar. That is not how God intended for relationships to be and we shouldn’t settle for that.
“Being a man’s second, third, or even fourth option is only cute for as long as we can pretend we are okay with it. Ladies, God didn’t create us to be okay with that. Feelings are deceptive. So that empowerment we think we feel as a result of being involved with someone who belongs to someone else is really pride and selfishness. That statement we make—I can’t help if she doesn’t satisfy him and he has to come to me”—is only cute in the flesh and for a moment. After a few months of being number two, three, or four, it isn’t cute any more. It really hurts when we’re all alone and our bodies aren’t enough to keep those men with us. It isn’t cute when we’re reaping all the pain we’ve sown. God has a number-one position reserved just for me and you. He wants us to start bearing the fruit of the Spirit (such as self-control) and stop producing fruits of discord, dissension, and sexual immorality. Let’s stop pretending we’re cool with being less than a man’s only one. If we would only trust God, each of us could have a spot of our own.”
Excerpt From: Dr. Jené “Dr. J.” Elaine Walker. “Meditations for a Surrendered Life.”
You are worthy of real (which shouldn’t be relative) love. Don’t settle. God says there’s more for you than that. It doesn’t matter if you have a disease, been molested, raped, or a victim of incest, you are worthy of love. Yeshua loves us in spite of everything we’ve done and anything that has happened to us. He wants us to experience unconditional 1 Corinthians 13 love from our mates too. When you begin to realize your worth in Yeshua, you will wait on someone who sees your worth and who is willing to give you real love. Don’t settle.
Stay away from married men and women! Protect the sanctity of God’s sacred covenant. Trust God for your own spouse. Trust Him to fill the void and give you contentment and peace with Him alone. God will bring you out of that situation and sustain you. Don’t be deceived by the tricks and schemes of the enemy that you can be “just friends” with someone’s spouse. No! Texts, phone calls and friendly flirting is not acceptable. The devil is slick, slithering, and subtle. Stay far away. Because reaping the hell you caused in a marriage does not feel good. If the spouse is trying to convince you to stay and play, understand that he is under the spell of Satan. God didn’t create you to be anyone’s side thing or play toy. Flee in the name of Yeshua. Please before judgments start flowing (And you may have already seen the hand of God telling you to stop.).
Put that fire OUT NOW! Get busy for the kingdom. Focus on Him. We have to get delivered from this idea that we are put on this earth for our own sensual sinful pleasures! NOT. Kill it. Cut it off at the root. We are here to perpetuate the kingdom of God and expand it and get it ready for His return. What are we doing wallowing in the muck and mire, doing any and everything like our omnipresent, omniscient Jehovah doesn’t see us. It makes Him sick to see us rebel against Him so. One moment of burning in our laps out of wedlock or with someone’s spouse can cause a lifetime of burning… It’s just not worth it. But we have to come to that conclusion through the conviction of Holy Spirit…and if we’re NOT convicted, that’s a whole other scary story…
When you walk in faith, love, and obedience, don’t be shocked when God gives you the desires of your hearts. He rewards those who believe He exists and who diligently seeks Him. Don’t grow weary in well doing. Don’t look at how your situation appears in the natural. You have a past, a background, a current situation such as a bankrupt financial issue or a disease that the devil has told you no one will accept about you, renounce the lies of the devil in the name of Yeshua. Do you think that God can’t, no WON’T bless you with a love of your own? Don’t believe the lies of the enemies- statistics and facts and current situations don’t mean anything in the face of the sovereignty of God. Trust God for a love of your own. Someone asked me do I believe that everyone is meant to have someone. I said, “Do you believe that you were meant to have someone?” That’s what matters. Do you believe God can and will do it for you? I believe that God is cooking up something this season for His people. Receive it if you can. Jené Elaine Walker
Single wives, put in work for the kingdom of God apart from that man who is not your husband. Your husband will see your goods (gifts) because God will reveal who you are to him. Not anywhere in the instructions of God does the Word tell single wives to put in work for a man in order “to earn” the position of wife. Queens, stop it in the name of Yeshua. You’re doing his work, writing his dissertation, promoting him, helping with house plans, keeping his kids, working in his church like a first lady and you’re not, sexing him (My God today), cooking, cleaning, doing his laundry… STOP. SERIOUSLY (SPIRITUALLY). STOP NOW. Stop giving up all your goods (gifts) to a man who is not your husband. Because God created us to be a “help mate” it is natural for us to “help.” It is a gift. We do it well. We upgrade by design. But if your mate isn’t your husband, it isn’t ordained.
Transfer all those efforts to the kingdom of God apart from that man who is not your husband. God will reveal your gifts to your husband. You are a queen who is married to God in this season – worthy of the crown. Be faithful to God. Wake up to who you are beautiful queen. Wake up queen. Wake up oh beautiful queen. God sees you and knows the desires of your heart. Put in the kind of work that lasts – kingdom work. Wake up queen. I bind the spirits of insecurity, desperation, loneliness, lust, inferiority, and unworthiness in the name of Yeshua. Jené Elaine Walker