The mantle of your assignment as wife will bring new dimensions in glory but also in combat. You have to be prepared now. Holy Spirit is your physical trainer now. What is your current spiritual workout regimen? We can’t afford to gain the weight of the world. Read the Word of God and study it every day. Ask Holy Spirit to speak so that you get revelation about the Word. Exercise your spiritual weapons now. When the spirit of depression comes, which muscles will you flex? Psychological warfare? Mental battles in your mind? People being used? Loneliness? Flesh wars are not acceptable at the next level. Are you fighting in the spirit or the flesh now? It’s time. We must workout daily and nightly in order to win the daily battles that we face now but also to prepare for the next level of warfare when God connects us with our husbands in this season. Do you see the warfare taking place in the world right now? We do not live in a vacuum. Everything happening in the world is connected to the spiritual realm. The battles will impact our marriages too. Our marriage is established to impact the spiritual realm. It’s all connected. Get in shape for battle. Everything you’re experiencing now is part of your militaristic training for combat in your marriage.
Psalm 37:4 (ESV) “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
“Love Lessons: Stop Settling”
We believe God for certain areas of our lives but for most of us, finances, healing, and love are difficult areas to completely trust God. Unfortunately, we tend to take these matters into our own hands. Holy Spirit began speaking to me about the area of love to encourage me to hold on and wait for Him. He will give us the desires of our hearts when we delight ourselves in Him first. To delight ourselves in Him means to be happy in Him. Delight (“anag” in Hebrew) means to be glad in anything. See, we want the desires, but we have to be glad in the state we’re currently in. So, when Jehovah connects us with our mates, our happiness isn’t contingent on them and their actions but on our ability to delight ourselves in Jehovah. When we get to the point that we delight ourselves in Jehovah, then we begin to trust Jehovah to give us our hearts’ desires. The closer our relationship with Jehovah, the closer our desires begin to align with His desires for our love lives. When it comes to love, if we don’t get aligned with kingdom marriage principles now, we will continue to connect with people that God didn’t ordain for us. We will continue to experience failed relationships. We will continue to look for love in the wrong places. We will continue to “settle” for ungodly mates.
Holy Spirit gave me a few quotes about relationships dealing with how we’ve been settling in this season.
You are a king, a queen. If they can’t see the royal & godly value in you, then they can’t share the throne with you. Their loss. One of the most important things we must perceive in this season is that we are special to God. He loves us so deeply. If we could only see our worth through the eyes of Yeshua, we would stop settling for people who can’t see our worth. Often times, their perception of us is distorted because of their skewed perception of God and themselves. They can’t see us clearly if they can’t see God clearly. We can’t be so desperate for love that we ignore the signs of their inability to see us through godly lenses. If we can’t commit to, honor, and revere God, where is the power to commit to and honor a “person?” Subject yourself to God first. In James chapter 4, verse 7, the Word says that if we are subject to God, we can resist the devil and he will flee. When we are subject to God, we are in total submission to His will and His Spirit. When our flesh begins to surface, we can clearly hear Holy Spirit speaking to us and guiding us in the way of the Spirit. When we are submitted to God, we are obedient to His Word. When we are subject to God, we honor authority and each other. If I didn’t have Holy Spirit compelling me strongly on the inside, I would have lost it on some people already. It is the power of Holy Spirit on the inside of us that helps us to honor another human being, especially when they aren’t doing right. It is difficult to submit to a person who is operating in their flesh, when we aren’t even submitted to God. That is the true test. Can we submit and honor a person when they are at their worst? Submission is one of the aspects that relationship sustainability requires. Are you totally submitted to God first?
He has been dangling carrots, but no karats – paying a bill, buying groceries, even paying rent but still no ring of commitment. We have stay in dead relationships with no future, no life, no real love, and no commitment for long enough. We are wasting time and delaying our true happiness. Do we trust God for true love? Can we be content in our single state? Women, we will stay in a relationship until the wheels fall off in hopes that mileage will get us the commitment and love we desire. It won’t. The spirits we’re dealing with in a man who won’t commit may vary from person to person such as brokenness, sexual immorality, and narcissism. But if we’re honest, for us to stay in a dead-end relationship indefinitely, we too are dealing with some spirits such as insecurity and dependency. A man who truly loves us and is willing to commit doesn’t dangle carrots – give us things or say things to make us believe he is going to commit. He commits. Get healed. Stop settling.
He has been putting a “wing & thing” on it but has yet to put a ring on it. God created you for more. Don’t settle. Some of us mistake love for a man buying us things or feeding us or sex. The meaning of true love is not based on the world’s standards but in the Word of God. A man finds a wife, not a woman to buy chicken and have sex with. A man finds a wife who is a “good thing.” And then that man finds favor with Jehovah. You’ve been hanging out with a man who is missing his favor because he hasn’t done right by you. You are a good thing, a suitable help make, and an agent for his upgrade.
Stop settling. How long will he halt & limp between two opinions? Either he wants you God’s way or not at all. Don’t settle. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Some men say they love you and want to marry you but their actions are noncommittal. Some will even tell us that they are noncommittal and we continue to settle for that ungodly stand he has taken. When they enemy whispers that maybe you’re asking for too much, that is a lie. You are not the one. You’re not asking for much. You’re not asking for anything that God didn’t promise you can have. Let’s put that lie to rest right now. Yes, you a submissive. Yes, you have a quiet spirit. Yes, you will honor your husband. But no, you are not the one who will stay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t know what he wants. You can make excuses and prolong the inevitable by saying you’re a good friend who wants to help him go to the next level… In the end, the answer is still the same. He doesn’t know if you’re the one. He doesn’t know if you’re worthy of being his wife. He doesn’t know if he will marry you. God has someone whose mind is made up about finding you.
Your body is a temple. If he doesn’t take you to the temple, he can’t tamper with your temple. We continue to put ourselves at physical and emotional and spiritual risk by sleeping with men or women who are not our spouses. Jehovah says in Romans 12 for us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God which is our reasonable service. Only then will we even know His perfect will for our lives. Sex was designed for marriage. And because of our sexual immorality, diseases of all types are continuing to spread. Marriages are continuing to end. We see sex as moments of pleasure but it can cause a lifetime of hurt and consequences when we defile the temple. If you’re not worthy of being his wife, he’s not worthy of defiling your temple, which is the temple of God. Don’t settle. Don’t sin.
If she wants you to compromise your standards now, she will want you to do it again. Take a stand. Don’t settle. Men, the Word of God says in Proverbs 18, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Be led by Holy Spirit about the woman you “find.” What are the characteristics of a “wife” according to the Word of God. Is she subject to God? Is her life aligned with the principles of the Word of God? Are you equally yoked? As the head of the household and the head of your wife, you need someone who will complement you and be an asset for you. She needs to be one who will promote your vision. She has to have an uncompromising spirit, unwilling to go against the Spirit of God. Your wife won’t ask you to compromise. Don’t settle.
Number one is not sufficient. God created you to be the only one. You know if you’re just one in the number. Stop settling. When God created Adam, he said it isn’t good for man to be alone. Then, he created Eve, a suitable helpmate. God’s intentions form the beginning were for a man to be with one woman. As I reflect on my studies, I think the first mention of a man with more than one wife was Lamech, after the fall of man. In the world in which we live, it has become the “norm” for us to operate out of order, misaligned with the Word of God. We have become accepting of being someone’s number or three or four person. The devil is a liar. That is not how God intended for relationships to be and we shouldn’t settle for that.
“Being a man’s second, third, or even fourth option is only cute for as long as we can pretend we are okay with it. Ladies, God didn’t create us to be okay with that. Feelings are deceptive. So that empowerment we think we feel as a result of being involved with someone who belongs to someone else is really pride and selfishness. That statement we make—I can’t help if she doesn’t satisfy him and he has to come to me”—is only cute in the flesh and for a moment. After a few months of being number two, three, or four, it isn’t cute any more. It really hurts when we’re all alone and our bodies aren’t enough to keep those men with us. It isn’t cute when we’re reaping all the pain we’ve sown. God has a number-one position reserved just for me and you. He wants us to start bearing the fruit of the Spirit (such as self-control) and stop producing fruits of discord, dissension, and sexual immorality. Let’s stop pretending we’re cool with being less than a man’s only one. If we would only trust God, each of us could have a spot of our own.”
Excerpt From: Dr. Jené “Dr. J.” Elaine Walker. “Meditations for a Surrendered Life.”
You are worthy of real (which shouldn’t be relative) love. Don’t settle. God says there’s more for you than that. It doesn’t matter if you have a disease, been molested, raped, or a victim of incest, you are worthy of love. Yeshua loves us in spite of everything we’ve done and anything that has happened to us. He wants us to experience unconditional 1 Corinthians 13 love from our mates too. When you begin to realize your worth in Yeshua, you will wait on someone who sees your worth and who is willing to give you real love. Don’t settle.
Stay away from married men and women! Protect the sanctity of God’s sacred covenant. Trust God for your own spouse. Trust Him to fill the void and give you contentment and peace with Him alone. God will bring you out of that situation and sustain you. Don’t be deceived by the tricks and schemes of the enemy that you can be “just friends” with someone’s spouse. No! Texts, phone calls and friendly flirting is not acceptable. The devil is slick, slithering, and subtle. Stay far away. Because reaping the hell you caused in a marriage does not feel good. If the spouse is trying to convince you to stay and play, understand that he is under the spell of Satan. God didn’t create you to be anyone’s side thing or play toy. Flee in the name of Yeshua. Please before judgments start flowing (And you may have already seen the hand of God telling you to stop.).
Spouses in stale situations, you have to approach your marriage and your spouse in a new way starting today. Be romantic in new ways. Show love in new ways. Make love in new God ordained ways. Speak affirmations aloud to your spouse when you make love. Wives, call him ‘lord’ and the king of your home (1 Peter 3). Husbands tell her how much you love and appreciate her. She desires physical “affectionate” touch. Communicate with your spouse in new and more effective ways. You have to DO something new. Today is the day things change. Old passed away while you slept. God is doing a new thing but you have to do a new thing too. Your marriage is being renovated today in Jesus’s name. Jené Elaine Walker
“You make everything in my life much sweeter.” Imagine how different life would be without your God ordained spouse. Get back to that “sweet spot” in your marriage today. Today is the day things changed. You have a new season in which to love your spouse better. Keep things new. Keep things fresh. Don’t take for granted that “marriage as usual” is working for you both. Think of every sweet thing about having your spouse- the warmth on the other side of the bed; someone who has your back; someone to zip you in hard to reach places; someone to pick up the kids when you can’t make it; someone to stand in the gap for you when you’re weak; someone to watch a movie or basketball game with; someone to be affectionate with who belongs to you. Don’t think of one old negative thing from the past in this new season. Only think of how your life is much sweeter because you have your spouse. Today is a new day to do your marriage a new way! Think of how you can make your spouse’s life much sweeter. It’s a new season. The old way of doing marriage has passed away. God is doing a new thing in your marriage today in Jesus’s name. Jené Elaine Walker
Men, it doesn’t matter how many seductive, lustful, adultery, manipulative, Jezebel demons women have. Women are the weaker vessels. So either deliver us from evil through the power of Holy Spirit, or rebuke the spirits in us. But stop using us, taking advantage of us, manipulating us, criticizing us, exploiting us, womanizing us, seducing us, “low rating us,” mistreating us, being condescending toward us, underestimating us, committing adultery with us, playing games with us, being egotistical with us, misleading us, being “down low” on us, deceiving us, and condemning us. And although we will each pay for our own individual sins, God will hold the “head” – the man who is the stronger vessel and who has kingdom authority and dominion – accountable for us. Love and care for a woman today.
Jené Elaine Walker