“Can I Be Naked With You?” by Dr.Jené Walker

Can I be completely naked with you and not be ashamed?

Genesis 2:25 NKJV “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

I think this is a legitimate question and even more a legitimate concern in the institution of marriage. I have experienced and have observed relationships that were rooted in an unsafe environment. By this I mean that one spouse, or both spouses, felt uncomfortable and even unsafe in being totally transparent with the other.

One may think that after time both spouses would build the capacity to feel safe and both spouses would be able to be who they really are. Unfortunately, we make this extremely difficult when we don’t allow God to create our match for us.

God looked at man and said that it isn’t good for him to be alone. Then God created a woman for man. He didn’t solicit any help from Adam; God performed the entire surgery while Adam was asleep. That lets us know that we can rest assuredly that God is working for us, in us, through us, and on us and our mates, even while we sleep.

God created Adam a suitable helper. God created a help mate from the rib of the right man. God knows what we need in a mate. He knows who will complement us. He knows who can enhance the calling He has given us. God knows who will love us unconditionally. He knows who we can be naked with and unashamed.

People don’t come with clean crisp lives or with “no” issues. We’ve been hurt. We’ve had terrible hurtful things to happen to us such as rape, incest, or molestation. We have secrets and areas of weakness that we don’t feel comfortable sharing with just anyone. We have diseases and illnesses that the enemy has used to isolate us and make us feel ashamed about.

We are barren, impotent, or have several children. We have financial issues that have been irreparable thus far. We have mounds of debt. We have criminal records. We’ve done things that we’re so ashamed of that it makes us sick to think of it. How can someone else possibly deal with the things we’ve done and have had done to us?

We may be physically disfigured or we may not have an attractive body. We may have insecurities so deeply rooted that we’re still in the process of healing. Who is the suitable helper God created for us who can handle our nakedness? Who is the rib donor God will use to develop us and be able to handle our nakedness?

The devil has been given a foothold in too many marriages because of deeply rooted issues in “nakedness.” Now nothing is too hard for God; so, please know that if we make Him the center of our marriages now, He can still heal us and our marriages. But for all singles who haven’t yet (or yet again) ventured into the sanctity and safety of a lifelong marriage, please keep this question in the forefront of your mind, “Can I be completely naked with you and not be ashamed?” If you’re honest and especially “discerning” the Holy Spirit lets you know right away if you will have issues being “naked” with a person. Wait on God. He is the Creator and sovereign matchmaker and God knows just who you need. Jené Elaine Walker

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