“Stop Settling

Lesson Scripture:

Psalm 37:4 (ESV) “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

“Love Lessons: Stop Settling”

We believe God for certain areas of our lives but for most of us, finances, healing, and love are difficult areas to completely trust God. Unfortunately, we tend to take these matters into our own hands. Holy Spirit began speaking to me about the area of love to encourage me to hold on and wait for Him. He will give us the desires of our hearts when we delight ourselves in Him first. To delight ourselves in Him means to be happy in Him. Delight (“anag” in Hebrew) means to be glad in anything. See, we want the desires, but we have to be glad in the state we’re currently in. So, when Jehovah connects us with our mates, our happiness isn’t contingent on them and their actions but on our ability to delight ourselves in Jehovah. When we get to the point that we delight ourselves in Jehovah, then we begin to trust Jehovah to give us our hearts’ desires. The closer our relationship with Jehovah, the closer our desires begin to align with His desires for our love lives. When it comes to love, if we don’t get aligned with kingdom marriage principles now, we will continue to connect with people that God didn’t ordain for us. We will continue to experience failed relationships. We will continue to look for love in the wrong places. We will continue to “settle” for ungodly mates.

Holy Spirit gave me a few quotes about relationships dealing with how we’ve been settling in this season.

You are a king, a queen. If they can’t see the royal & godly value in you, then they can’t share the throne with you. Their loss. One of the most important things we must perceive in this season is that we are special to God. He loves us so deeply. If we could only see our worth through the eyes of Yeshua, we would stop settling for people who can’t see our worth. Often times, their perception of us is distorted because of their skewed perception of God and themselves. They can’t see us clearly if they can’t see God clearly. We can’t be so desperate for love that we ignore the signs of their inability to see us through godly lenses. If we can’t commit to, honor, and revere God, where is the power to commit to and honor a “person?” Subject yourself to God first. In James chapter 4, verse 7, the Word says that if we are subject to God, we can resist the devil and he will flee. When we are subject to God, we are in total submission to His will and His Spirit. When our flesh begins to surface, we can clearly hear Holy Spirit speaking to us and guiding us in the way of the Spirit. When we are submitted to God, we are obedient to His Word. When we are subject to God, we honor authority and each other. If I didn’t have Holy Spirit compelling me strongly on the inside, I would have lost it on some people already. It is the power of Holy Spirit on the inside of us that helps us to honor another human being, especially when they aren’t doing right. It is difficult to submit to a person who is operating in their flesh, when we aren’t even submitted to God. That is the true test. Can we submit and honor a person when they are at their worst? Submission is one of the aspects that relationship sustainability requires. Are you totally submitted to God first?

He has been dangling carrots, but no karats – paying a bill, buying groceries, even paying rent but still no ring of commitment. We have stay in dead relationships with no future, no life, no real love, and no commitment for long enough. We are wasting time and delaying our true happiness. Do we trust God for true love? Can we be content in our single state? Women, we will stay in a relationship until the wheels fall off in hopes that mileage will get us the commitment and love we desire. It won’t. The spirits we’re dealing with in a man who won’t commit may vary from person to person such as brokenness, sexual immorality, and narcissism. But if we’re honest, for us to stay in a dead-end relationship indefinitely, we too are dealing with some spirits such as insecurity and dependency. A man who truly loves us and is willing to commit doesn’t dangle carrots – give us things or say things to make us believe he is going to commit. He commits. Get healed. Stop settling.

He has been putting a “wing & thing” on it but has yet to put a ring on it. God created you for more. Don’t settle. Some of us mistake love for a man buying us things or feeding us or sex. The meaning of true love is not based on the world’s standards but in the Word of God. A man finds a wife, not a woman to buy chicken and have sex with. A man finds a wife who is a “good thing.” And then that man finds favor with Jehovah. You’ve been hanging out with a man who is missing his favor because he hasn’t done right by you. You are a good thing, a suitable help make, and an agent for his upgrade.

Stop settling. How long will he halt & limp between two opinions? Either he wants you God’s way or not at all. Don’t settle. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Some men say they love you and want to marry you but their actions are noncommittal. Some will even tell us that they are noncommittal and we continue to settle for that ungodly stand he has taken. When they enemy whispers that maybe you’re asking for too much, that is a lie. You are not the one. You’re not asking for much. You’re not asking for anything that God didn’t promise you can have. Let’s put that lie to rest right now. Yes, you a submissive. Yes, you have a quiet spirit. Yes, you will honor your husband. But no, you are not the one who will stay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t know what he wants. You can make excuses and prolong the inevitable by saying you’re a good friend who wants to help him go to the next level… In the end, the answer is still the same. He doesn’t know if you’re the one. He doesn’t know if you’re worthy of being his wife. He doesn’t know if he will marry you. God has someone whose mind is made up about finding you.

Your body is a temple. If he doesn’t take you to the temple, he can’t tamper with your temple. We continue to put ourselves at physical and emotional and spiritual risk by sleeping with men or women who are not our spouses. Jehovah says in Romans 12 for us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God which is our reasonable service. Only then will we even know His perfect will for our lives. Sex was designed for marriage. And because of our sexual immorality, diseases of all types are continuing to spread. Marriages are continuing to end. We see sex as moments of pleasure but it can cause a lifetime of hurt and consequences when we defile the temple. If you’re not worthy of being his wife, he’s not worthy of defiling your temple, which is the temple of God. Don’t settle. Don’t sin.

If she wants you to compromise your standards now, she will want you to do it again. Take a stand. Don’t settle.
Men, the Word of God says in Proverbs 18, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Be led by Holy Spirit about the woman you “find.” What are the characteristics of a “wife” according to the Word of God. Is she subject to God? Is her life aligned with the principles of the Word of God? Are you equally yoked? As the head of the household and the head of your wife, you need someone who will complement you and be an asset for you. She needs to be one who will promote your vision. She has to have an uncompromising spirit, unwilling to go against the Spirit of God. Your wife won’t ask you to compromise. Don’t settle.

Number one is not sufficient. God created you to be the only one. You know if you’re just one in the number. Stop settling. When God created Adam, he said it isn’t good for man to be alone. Then, he created Eve, a suitable helpmate. God’s intentions form the beginning were for a man to be with one woman. As I reflect on my studies, I think the first mention of a man with more than one wife was Lamech, after the fall of man. In the world in which we live, it has become the “norm” for us to operate out of order, misaligned with the Word of God. We have become accepting of being someone’s number or three or four person. The devil is a liar. That is not how God intended for relationships to be and we shouldn’t settle for that.

“Being a man’s second, third, or even fourth option is only cute for as long as we can pretend we are okay with it. Ladies, God didn’t create us to be okay with that. Feelings are deceptive. So that empowerment we think we feel as a result of being involved with someone who belongs to someone else is really pride and selfishness. That statement we make—I can’t help if she doesn’t satisfy him and he has to come to me”—is only cute in the flesh and for a moment. After a few months of being number two, three, or four, it isn’t cute any more. It really hurts when we’re all alone and our bodies aren’t enough to keep those men with us. It isn’t cute when we’re reaping all the pain we’ve sown. God has a number-one position reserved just for me and you. He wants us to start bearing the fruit of the Spirit (such as self-control) and stop producing fruits of discord, dissension, and sexual immorality. Let’s stop pretending we’re cool with being less than a man’s only one. If we would only trust God, each of us could have a spot of our own.”

Excerpt From: Dr. Jené “Dr. J.” Elaine Walker. “Meditations for a Surrendered Life.”

You are worthy of real (which shouldn’t be relative) love. Don’t settle. God says there’s more for you than that.
It doesn’t matter if you have a disease, been molested, raped, or a victim of incest, you are worthy of love. Yeshua loves us in spite of everything we’ve done and anything that has happened to us. He wants us to experience unconditional 1 Corinthians 13 love from our mates too. When you begin to realize your worth in Yeshua, you will wait on someone who sees your worth and who is willing to give you real love. Don’t settle.

“A Time of Restoration” by Dr. Jené Walker 

We are living in a season of increase but we have to truly believe that we can receive it. As a people, we’ve been through an extensive season of punishment for our transgressions and rebelliousness and it is difficult to imagine our season of restoration. The time is now. The time is now for increase so that we can take care of the needy and the poor and the prisoners. The time is now for increase to fund our initiatives to conquer more territory for the kingdom. In the midst of devastation – death of navy men, unjust court decisions, bombings in Manchester, and corruption in government, the body of Yeshua will receive increase. We have lived beneath kingdom standards long enough. The wealth of the wicked has been stored up for us. The time is now for increase, not for us to accumulate wealth for selfish gain and become as the wicked are but for us to use our wealth for kingdom advancement. 

“A House Brimming with Wealth” by Dr. Jené Walker

Psalm‬ ‭112:1-3 MSG‬‬ “Hallelujah! Blessed man, blessed woman, who fear GOD, Who cherish and relish his commandments, Their children robust on the earth, And the homes of the upright—how blessed! Their houses brim with wealth And a generosity that never runs dry.”
Begin to call yourself, your spouse (your spouse on the way), your children, and your family blessed. Confess the blessing over your life aloud every day and every night. Increase is due to you because you fear Jehovah and obey His commandments. Your house is brimming over with wealth and a generosity that never runs dry… That’s what the Word says. The enemy has deceived and manipulated the church so much so that when money or increase or prosperity or wealth are mentioned in most churches, we think those words are dirty words. We even cringe, roll our eyes, or worse, walk out and leave. When your heart is pure, when you use your wealth to bless the poor and advance the kingdom, when you don’t worship God and mammon in your heart, and when you don’t have a love for money, then wealth, riches, prosperity, and money are a blessing. Some of us have embraced a poverty mentality because we think it is “the right thing for believers to do.” I don’t receive that in my spirit. Renounce that false sense of humility. Renounce those lies and tricks. Stop allowing the enemy to manipulate you and use others to oppress you with that “the body of Yeshua can’t have money” mess. Holy Spirit will keep us rooted. Holy Spirit will convict us if we get off track. Holy Spirit will show us the motives of our hearts so that we can remain pure. Holy Spirit will keep us from greed and duplicity. Holy Spirit will guide us on how to use our wealth for the kingdom. We have kingdom businesses to develop. We have mountains of influence to infiltrate and overtake. We have the poor to see about. We have schools to build. We have prison ministry to facilitate. We have mission fields to conquer. We have to preach the gospel to the ends of the earth. We have to prepare the kingdom for the return of Yeshua. 
 
I believe I’m blessed to be a blessing to the kingdom. I am blessed through my relationship with Yeshua. I’m blessed because my heart is pure. I’m blessed because even though I sin and I’m flawed, I’m walking in obedience. When I’m blessed you’re blessed because my generosity never runs dry. When you’re blessed, I’m blessed. We cherish and relish His commandments so our houses overflow with wealth. We are so blessed that we never run out of blessings to give. I receive the blessings in my spirit and not the curses.  

“Are You Here To Edify or To ‘Spy?'” by Dr. Jené Walker

Are you here to edify or to “spy?” The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy. We must check our motives and what “we” come to do.

Some aspects of military intelligence operations involve “collection and analysis of imagery, investigations, and engaging in electronic warfare…” Satan has intelligence agents in his kingdom too; some are aware of whose army they’re in and some have no idea they are working for his kingdom. But in either case, his agents operate in the same manner as military intelligence. They are “spying” and monitoring and analyzing you and your walk so closely that their own walk is maimed and they don’t even know it. They aid the enemy in killing, stealing, and destroying the body because they operate out of intelligence and feigned wisdom and not the Spirit of God (i.e., love, gentleness, self-control, etc.). No one knows you and your heart and your journey with Yeshua like the all knowing sovereign King, Jehovah. Any other assessment of you is simply “collection and analysis” based on opinion and on what can be seen with the naked eye (flesh). If the “collection and analysis” comes from the Spirit of God, the Spirit of God will test it and prove it.

Believers, we have to regularly check our hearts, our motives, our words, our pride, and our opinions. We have to make a spiritual effort to make sure we’re not aligned with Satan’s mission which is to kill, steal, and destroy the body. We have to keep our mouths off God’s people. If our words and actions are not “truth” based on the Word of God and His Spirit then it’s just “our truth,” which is well…a natural lie. If we’re just keeping it “real” and it came from a suspicious or jealous or critical heart, then it’s just “real” ugly. If our assessment of another is based on analysis and philosophies and worldly knowledge and our own limited experiences, then all of that is foolishness to God. If our assessment is not building up the body, then it’s tearing the body down. Is THAT what you’re here for? We have to let Holy Spirit “fix” us and our hearts so the body can be healed and edified. Jené Elaine Walker

“Hills and Valleys: How Will You Respond?” Dr. Jené Walker

YouTube Video (Click Here): Song, “Hills and Valleys” by Tauren Wells

My God! Listen believers, we will have hills and valleys until our Savior Yeshua comes back and fights with us and for us to defeat Satan and send him to the pits of hell forever. But, how do we respond to the valleys? Are we pouting? Are we angry with God? Are we rebelling? Are we refusing to serve Him because we think our valleys are lower than the entire body of believers who is suffering all over the world just like we are?

I challenge you (and me) to respond to the valleys in the same way we respond to the hills. We give God glory when He increases, promotes, blesses us with favor, and rewards us. Our valleys are real; I can’t deny it. Our valleys are job loss, home loss, money loss, friend loss, diseases gained, cheating spouses gained, hurt gained, and loneliness gained. I couldn’t and wouldn’t dare downplay the valleys. But the valleys are inevitable. The devil wants to take us out but the valleys or attacks don’t have to affect us the way we’ve allowed them to. They don’t have to take us out. They don’t have to kill us. We have power over the valleys. We can speak to them. We can make them move. We can overcome them. God is sovereign. Do you think that He doesn’t see you? He does see you and He is with you in every one of your valley moments. Remember, sin and evil came by Satan’s temptation of Adam and Eve. Sin didn’t come from God. God’s Word has to stand. We have to stop blaming God and start trusting Him in the valleys too. He has us. Please believe it. He loves us and cares for us in the ups and the downs. Jené Elaine Walker

“You’re Untouchable on the Highway” by Dr. Jené Walker

When we stay on the path of righteousness, the Highway, we are in a secret untouchable place hidden from our enemy the devil and protected in the Spirit from the attacks made by people under the influence of Satan! Those who are evil and unclean can’t even come near you on the Highway. But the thing about being on the Highway is that we must be holy because God is holy. Holiness doesn’t mean we’re perfect and flawless but our hearts are pure and unwilling to compromise for the world. We may be fools when it comes to worldly wisdom but when it comes to directions from the Word of God and instructions from Holy Spirit, we have wisdom and discernment. I’m living, walking, breathing, and operating on the Highway in this season and from now on. I can’t afford not to; can you?

“Your Come Up is My Come Up…Maybe” by Dr. Jené Walker

Daniel 2:48-49 “Then the king appointed Daniel to a high position and gave him many valuable gifts. He made Daniel ruler over the whole province of Babylon, as well as chief over all his wise men. At Daniel’s request, the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to be in charge of all the affairs of the province of Babylon, while Daniel remained in the king’s court.”

When Daniel got elevated, he requested that his friends be promoted too to advance the kingdom of God. Daniel used his “come up” for his people to “come up.” But what we must understand is that “his people” were praying people. They interceded for Daniel before he went in to see the king and their prayers reached heaven. They didn’t try to ask Daniel why is it that “he” gets to go in and see the king and not them. They understood their role in the sphere of influence and Daniel’s role in the sphere of influence. They didn’t cover Daniel’s spot. They didn’t try to beat Daniel in seeing the king. They didn’t try to interpret visions and dreams like Daniel because they knew that wasn’t their gift. So, Daniel knew that when he brought them up, the kingdom wouldn’t be compromised. We have to be careful who we try to bring with us on our kingdom assignments. Watch how your people respond in captivity and in bondage before you take them in the realm of the king with you. Listen and see who God wants you to bring because the kingdom must be blessed though your graduation, elevation, and promotion.